When a wig maker saw my wife’s hair, he adored it.
He wanted it and said that he’d pay top dollar for it.
So I cut my wife’s hair off while she was asleep.
She walked out the door after calling me a creep.
Perhaps I did go too far.
But I wanted to buy a car.
I went to a used car lot and bought a beautiful red Camaro.
If you’re wondering if I got away with it, the answer is no.
My wife went home to be with her mother.
And then I got a visit from her two brothers.
One came at me with an axe, I was lucky that my head wasn’t severed.
The other torched my Camaro and covered me with tar and feathers.
It took four weeks to get that tar out of my hair and off my skin.
If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never cut off a woman’s hair again.

  • :

    This is a fictional poem.

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